You can tell it’s the school holidays. The weather is rubbish, the traffic is amazing and the silliest stories are going around. Normally I would spurn such spurious nonsense but one money-saving travel tip caught my eye. It’s so hilariously tongue-in-check that it has to be a wind-up. But all the same, it does make a point. Have you ever considered that hotel charges for when you’re asleep are ‘moonlight’ robbery?
Somebody in the marketing department of international budget chain easyHotel obviously had a slow enough afternoon to calculate that guests in luxury accommodation are ‘snoring’ money away at up to £38 per minute. That’s if you’re staying in a suite at one of London’s top hotels, the Lanesborough, mind. You’d be dreaming away only 21p a minute in your standard London room.
In contrast, an easyHotel guest would pay 3p per minute to snooze on a mattress that is (allegedly) as comfortable as those found in some five-star hotels.
These figures are based on an (unattributed) study which found the average hotel guest spends a mere three hours and 22 minutes awake in their room. The rest of the time – a full eight hours - is spent asleep, so you don’t notice all the bling for which you’ve paid top dollar. Better then to slum it in economy and spend your savings on waking hours treats such as meals, pink wine, ice-cream and all those souvenirs you never knew you needed.
It’s not a bad idea if you’re only going to be seeing the inside of a night club for two weeks. Much as I am nostalgic for those Ibiza weekends of the 1990s, I’m too long in the tooth these days to crash in a windowless cell. As a friend of mine remarked about caravanning – why would you holiday in a place where the facilities are worse than at home? I thought the whole point about hotels was that you lay by the hot tub or on the beach all day and someone else made the breakfast, the beds and did the cleaning.
But then, think of the savings. I'm not sure I'd want to stay in the easyHotel reviewed here. But if someone stuck a paddling pool on the roof of my nearest Travelodge (with a crate of Aperol) I might reconsider.
For the SMM guide to travel money, click here.